If You Have Been Sexually Assaulted

You Are Not Alone

If you have experienced sexual violence, you may be feeling shocked, confused, angry, numb, ashamed, afraid, or completely overwhelmed. You may feel many things at once—or you may feel nothing at all. There is no “right” way to feel - that is because everyone's response comes from many factors such as past experiences, family, support, beliefs, shame and so on.

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You may have trouble sleeping, remembering things, concentrating, eating, or being around other people. You may feel on edge or disconnected from yourself and the world around you. You may question what happened, wonder if you could have prevented it, or blame yourself. Shame and self-blame are very common and very powerful.  Even people who truly know it is not their fault can experience self-blame and question what they could have done to prevent it.

None of this means you did anything wrong.

Sexual violence is never the fault of the person who experiences it. Regardless of what you were wearing, whether you had been drinking or using substances, where you were, who you were with, what your instincts were telling you, what your friends told you, or what happened before the assault, the person who chose to assault you is responsible for that choice.

You may also feel confused because the person who hurt you was someone you knew or trusted. Most sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the person. When someone we know hurts us, it can be difficult to understand what happened or to reconcile the person we thought we knew with what they did.

You do not have to figure everything out right now. Your brain and body are responding to something overwhelming. Trauma affects people differently, and your response may change over time. You may feel better one day and struggle the next. These reactions can last days, weeks, months or longer. Healing is not a straight line.

If you are an adult and the sexual assault happened within the last seven days, you can go to a hospital for medical care and talk with specially trained healthcare providers about your options, including a forensic examination.

You are allowed to ask questions and take your time. You are in control of what happens next.

If you are considering a forensic examination, you may be advised not to bathe, shower or change your clothes beforehand if you are able to avoid doing so. Bring the clothing you were wearing if you still have it. However, if you have already showered, changed clothes, eaten or done anything else, please still seek medical care. It is not too late to ask for help.

You can also seek medical care without deciding whether you want to report to police.

If you are unsure about reporting, you can talk with healthcare providers about your options and make the decision that is right for you.

You can report to police at the hospital or contact police directly. You can have someone you trust with you if that makes you feel safer. You may also want to consider whether the person accompanying you could be a potential witness.

RSAC can provide support and accompaniment to the hospital or police if you would like someone with you.

If you experienced sexual abuse as a child, you may carry questions or feelings that have stayed with you for years.

You may wonder why you didn't tell someone, why you didn't stop it, whether you misunderstood what was happening, or whether somehow you were responsible.

You were a child. It was never your responsibility to stop an adult from abusing you.

Children depend on adults to teach them what is safe, normal and appropriate. An adult who abuses a child may use trust, affection, secrecy, threats or manipulation to make the abuse possible. A child may feel special and cared for because of the attention, frightened about what happens, or simply not understand that what is happening is wrong. Whatever your response was, the responsibility belonged to the adult. Never to you.

Counselling can help you understand what is happening in your mind and body after trauma and develop ways to feel safer and more in control.

At the Regina and Area Sexual Assault Centre, our counsellors specialize in sexual violence and trauma. Counselling is free and confidential, and you decide what you are ready to talk about.

You will never be forced to talk about your experience before you are ready.

Our counsellors work collaboratively with you to understand your needs and goals. We can help you understand trauma responses, work through difficult emotions and memories, and develop ways to move toward healing.

We also EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, Sandtray, Play Therapy and other trauma-informed approaches.

Healing does not mean pretending the experience did not happen or that the experience is less impactful than it is. It means working toward a life in which what happened no longer has to control your future.

You are not what happened to you.

You are not alone.
You are not to blame.
You deserve to be heard, believed and supported.

We believe you.

If you would like to talk with someone about support or counselling, contact the Regina and Area Sexual Assault Centre at 306-522-2777. Our 24-hour crisis line is 306-352-0434.

You are not alone.  Others have had these experiences. There are people who care.  We believe you.